I'm sitting down on the couch to write, trying to quiet the the screams echoing from Canon's room with mindless TV on our new flatscreen. Little man's been crying all day. Literally. I've tried everything: Nursing. Walking. Rocking. Playing. Talking. Reading. Sitting. Standing. Nothing is working. And so, now at the end of myself, I've just told him I love him, and I've put him in his crib. And he's screaming his face off in protest.
In these moments, I find it difficult to quite the voices in my head that say, "You are totally screwing this up - you should be X, or Y, or Z." I compare myself to other mom's who seem to have things more "figured out" than I do. My patience wears thing, and I beat myself up.
Somehow, I know that I need to just take a deep breath. And wait for a new measure of patience to wash over me.
And just as I wrap up that thought: Canon's just fallen asleep.
TV off. Exhale.
14 years ago
you are a great mom...the fact that you do everything you can and then let things be as they need to be...that says SO much.
ReplyDeletehonored to call you friend...and hope you get some well-deserved rest!
love ya,
biz
Momma guilt is the worst. You have to find a way to silence that voice and always remember YOU ARE A FABULOUS MOM! Oh and when you do figure out how to do that could you please let me know? :-)
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